April 4, 2012
I have been at Camp Green Lake for some time now. I have dug many holes for you. The other boys here at Camp Green Lake have also worked hard to dig holes. We don't know what we're digging for. We have tough, callused hands and our bodies are tired. This place should not be called a camp because camps are fun. I have not had any fun and neither have the boys that dig holes next to me. You don't give us enough water and we work hard every day. Mr. Sir pretends to give us water in our canteens but lets the water flow onto the ground. We only get two sets of clothes to wear, too. You threaten us with rattlesnake venom nail polish that could kill us if it's wet. The counselors also carry guns which is not safe and they make us continue to dig holes. This is not a place for any boy. A lot of things need to change to make this a real camp. I hope you will listen to me.
For your first 2 sentences instead of the period you should put "and."
Just a suggestion. I like the rest of your letter well.
April 4, 2012
Why are you making us dig holes in the middle of a dry lake? I have seen many holes at Camp Green Lake with nothing in them. I'm pretty sure your looking for something because when X-Ray found the golden tube you gave him a day off. It's unfair that we have to dig in one of the hottest places in america to help you. Do you really think digging holes will knock the badness out of us. Caveman was helping me learn and I helped with his hole. Now that's nice right? I want you to take this seriously.
Please listen to this message closly because it will not be repeted. We have been at camp green lake for a long time and I have coments sujestions and changes for camp green lake. Everyone here has been working there tails off digging holes every single day and we're not being treated fairly. We are weak from and exausted from digging holes and you don't even care. And I don't think camp green lake is a camp, I mean we are threatened by you and the counselors who are more dangerous than us together. Idon't konw what you're thinking, but camp green lake is a horrible and dangerous place. If I were you, you should take my sujestions and chang camp green lake. Ireally hope you take it seriously.
Good Job Allysa, thats great I totally agree with you.
You too Paige that's an awesome paragraph.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.